What I want to know is, how did Mr. Parker get away with writing such an utterly gripping, but desperately naughty book as this ?

How is he not being hauled up for libel or slander or whatever it is that famous people do, when they are publicly described as – and I quote:

” egomaniac ; traitor ; twat ” 

Kevin Pietersen, take a bow.

No seriously, how does Mr. Parker do it?

I have sat in the Kruger Park, these last 3 days, riveted by this brilliant book about a country I love dearly – reading a book that, well, the title tells you everything you need to know, really.

I used to live in South Africa, so although not a Saffer, I know the country pretty well, and this book had me enthralled.

It is a beautifully written romp through colonial stuff-ups (Bartle Frere, take a bow) and recent-ish politicians – that would be you, ex-President Thabo Mbeki.

Thabo Mbeki was “my” President, so I know exactly where Mr. Parker is coming from.

I cheered – sort of – when I read Mr. Parker’s section about Dr. Death, the infamous Manto Tshabalala-Msimang.

That wretched woman was Health Minister when I lived in this glorious country, and to think that she told the hundreds of thousands of AIDS victims who died on her watch to eat beetroot…well, it’s fitting that she is part of this Rogues Gallery.  It’s the least she deserves.

It obviously helps if you are a Saffer, or know the country well, but this book is nevertheless a master class in elegantly-written character assassination.

I couldn’t possibly pick a favourite, out of such a deliciously horrid cast of characters.

I couldn’t.

I really couldn’t…

…well, OK, since you insist…

Sepp Blatter?

Sol Kerzner?

Hansie Cronjie? (because I had to explain to my children why he was crying on TV)

Steve Hofmeyr? (just because)

OK, if I can quote only one out of these 50 stuffer-upperers as my absolute favourite, then is has to be Julius Malema.

Read this absolutely delicious intro, and I dare you not to rush out and buy the book, Saffer or not :

“Julius Malema’s a fat little man. How he got fat is obvious.  He’s fat because he’s got lots of government-tender money and has no class whatsoever, and  the classless rich always get fat.”

Quite takes your breath away, doesn’t it ?

I love this book, and am giving it as Christmas pressies to those of my South African friends who may (God knows why) not yet have read it.

Published by Two Dogs, the paperback costs R 169.00

I’m going with 10/10 for chutzpah.

Well worth buying –  which you can easily do, by clicking on the link below :

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