The subtle art of not giving a f*ck by Mark Manson

Obviously the title of the book has something to do with it.

Even at my age, who can resist being seen reading something with such an in-your-face title?

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” certainly delivers on the shock value, with the F word peppering the earlier chapters, but you know what, it’s actually not a bad read at all, shock tactics notwithstanding.

Mark Manson, the 30-something author, has achieved maturity and wisdom beyond his years, and much of what he says made sense.

I thought it was just me, getting old, and no longer caring so much about so many of the things that used up my energies in earlier decades…but apparently, it’s actually more a case of “in life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.”

Seriously, why couldn’t I have read this book in my 30s?

It might well have given me the courage I so clearly lacked at the time to say “no” to so many futile things.

School art projects, for one…helping the kiddos make a model of the Great Pyramid of Giza out of toilet rolls and kitchen paper rolls being one of the worst time-wasters of my life.

Ah well, I didn’t have the benefit of Mr. Manson’s trenchant advice at the time.

The author makes some very interesting and thought provoking statements to make his pretty-much central premise that 99.99% of us are, in point of fact, not special.

In Mr. Manson’s view, until we disabuse ourselves of the notion that we are special/talented/beautiful/desirable, and therefore somehow “deserve” gratification/success/money/adulation because of the aforementioned, we are destined to go through life feeling cheated:

“It turns out that merely feeling good about yourself doesn’t really mean anything unless you have a good reason to feel good about yourself. It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults. It turns out that teaching people to believe they’re exceptional and to feel good about themselves no matter what doesn’t lead to a population full of Bill Gates and Martin Luther Kings.”

Mr. Manson is refreshingly harsh about the current sense of entitlement and molly-coddling that seems to have seeped into society the world over:

“Numerous professors and educators have noted a lack of emotional resilience and an excess of selfish demands in today’s young people. It’s not uncommon for books to be removed from a class’s curriculum for no other reason than that they made someone feel bad…School counsellors note that more students than ever are exhibiting severe signs of emotional distress over what are otherwise run-of-the-Mlle daily college experiences, such as an argument with a roommate, or getting a low grade in a class.”

The author goes on to say, “It’s strange that in an age when we are more connected than ever, entitlement seems to be at an all-time high. Something about recently technology seems to allow our insecurities to run amok like never before. The more freedom we’re given to express ourselves, the more we want to be free of having to deal with anyone who I may disagree with us or upset us.”

Whew! Spoken like an old fogey like me, not a youngster. How refreshing!

Mr. Manson is spot-on when he says, talking of the internet and social media: “Perhaps these same technologies that have liberated and educated so many are simultaneously enabling people’s sense of entitlement more than ever before.”

I enjoyed the book, and it made me smile in many places. Anyone who quotes Yoda is a star in my book.

I enjoyed the author’s vivid use of language, truly I did, including that fabulous verb “to unpretzel”.

I applaud his view of how to live your life.

An all-round good read.

Since this is a review of a book encouraging a counterintuitive approach to life, I won’t tell you how to go ahead & order your copy…you can work it out for yourselves, right?!

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